i will always be jealous of people who make friends easily. perhaps it's my fault for looking and being so prickly, but is there something so repulsive about me? i'm incredibly introverted, but i will kill myself running around for a community. i need people, i want people, just the right people and the right environment. i will find my way to get to the DIY alt scene in manila, i'm determined to do so, i feel so close to it, but i'm always just close to something, and the one i finally closed in on i'm gonna have to leave soon. i need to be seen by the right people, surrounded by the right people, look back and see that, somehow, i made a life for myself despite everything.